changes don't mean failure

so today i made a big decision. and thankfully, seth was in touch to help me make it.

we've decided to postpone the big wedding ceremony until october, and just have a simple courthouse ceremony when he comes home.

i'm a person that likes to prove how strong i am. i'm strong willed, strong headed, and like to push through when things get hard. and this was definitely hard. making decisions alone, driving my sweet cousin crazy with going back and forth on plans, trying to create a whole production in which both seth and i will be completely exhausted.. and nothing, nothing at all, can be certain.

as i was talking to seth, trying to figure out what we should do now, bawling my eyes out and him stressing that he can't be here to do to the one thing he wants to do.. comfort me.. i realized we were missing the point. me especially.

what in the heck was i thinking?

my soon to be husband is coming home from war. safely. he's coming home to a brand new apartment, a brand new wife, and a brand new life.

we have plenty to celebrate without trying to throw in flowers, a garden, tuxes and dresses, and everything else that comes with a full on wedding.

all that we care about is the commitment. and that will be the strongest of all after a year deployment. a year of waiting, praying, and hoping.

so here's to giving up the perfect wedding for a bit.. here's to celebrating the new life that i'm about to start. regardless of how strong i want to be, and how much of a super army wife i want to prove i can be..

here's to loving and celebrating with my husband. and making a commitment that will only get stronger through life together.

today i've focused on the small things. what does seth want in the fridge when he gets home? what shower stuff does he need? what does he want to eat? what can make him feel loved and welcomed in to our new life?

and what a welcomed switch it has become. he's coming home!